


Making Memories

by Ava_now



Series: Barollins AU [4]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barba tries to daddy, F/M, Fluff, Kidfic, Learning to Parent, all the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:09:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24382594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ava_now/pseuds/Ava_now
Summary: In an attempt to impress Amanda, Barba invites Jesse to go with him to see The Lion King on Broadway.  He learns a little bit about kids, creating memories, and--most importantly--Jesse and himself, along the way.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Amanda Rollins
Series: Barollins AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1760629
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	Making Memories

“Professor!” 

Rafael stopped walking and turned to see who was calling his name. A petite blonde from his Intro to Criminology class was booking it toward him, and he guessed she was the one who was trying to get his attention. “Callie,” he said, sighing, “I thought we’d agreed that all of your work was due by today.”

“It is, for YOUR class,” she replied, trying to catch her breath and covering a small cough. “I’ve finished and submitted everything in all my classes except one…” He watched as she dug through her notebook and pulled out an assignment sheet. “See, I’m supposed to interview a lawyer, and I haven’t been able to yet. I know you used to be an ADA, so I was wondering if you might have a few minutes tomorrow afternoon?” Covering her mouth the best she could with her elbow, she coughed much harder this time, and he couldn’t help but wince. She’d been recovering from pneumonia for several weeks and had just made it back to her classes.

Taking the assignment sheet from her, he skimmed it before shaking his head. “I don’t think I’m what Professor Hayes had in mind for this assignment,” he mused, handing it back to her, and turning to walk to his office. “Besides, I have an important date on Saturday afternoon--”

“Ooh!” she teased. “Gonna bring her around? Professor Hayes brought his husband to give a lecture on eyewitness testimony…”

“Good for Professor Hayes,” he snarked, rounding his desk. “My date’s four years old and likes chocolate ice cream and sparkly princess shoes.”

“Aw! I didn’t know you have a daughter!”

Rafael shook his head. “I don’t. I’m taking my girlfriend’s little girl to see The Lion King.” He dug through his drawer and pulled out a business card. “Here. This is for ADA Dominick Carisi, Jr. You can tell him I gave you his card. I’m sure he’ll be happy to chat with you for a few minutes.”

Callie examined the card. “Thanks, Professor Barba. She’s gonna love The Lion King. We took my little brother last month and he had so much fun.” Grinning at him, she added, “You’re gonna be her hero after this.”

“We’ll see,” he responded wryly, crossing his arms. “Get yourself home to take care of that cough, okay? And call ADA Carisi fairly quickly--it may take him a couple days to get back to you. I know he’s fairly busy.”

Callie nodded. “Will do. Thanks again! Try not to be too nervous on your date, and remember, every woman loves flowers and candy!”

“Goodbye, Callie,” he replied as she headed out his door, laughing and coughing.

***

At second glance, he pulled the tie off and hung it back up on the rack.

He had spent far too much time today working on his outfit, and he had to ask himself, why was impressing a four-year old so important? Or even better, would the four-year old even notice? He didn’t want to look like a slob, but he also didn’t want to look too formal. How would he dress for this if he was an actual  _ dad _ ?

Finally settling on his dark wash jeans and a button-down, long sleeved gray shirt, he took a final glance in the mirror. With his sports jacket, he should be the perfect mix of clean, casual, yet nice enough to communicate this afternoon was special. The last time he had worn these jeans, Amanda had made her hands very comfortable in the back pockets. “Ooh, guapo,” she’d teased as she gave a good squeeze, and he’d stood there blushing and sporting a huge grin. Things were going well between them, he thought. They had fallen into a pattern of him coming over to her place most weeknights, and he helped take care of the evening tasks. On most Fridays, he’d spend the night. He’d gotten pretty good at feeding the baby, who’d really taken a liking to him. Jesse seemed to like him just fine too, but he still felt uncomfortable around her at times. Mainly because she could talk, and she definitely had her own view of the world. She asked more questions than anyone he’d ever met, of that he was sure, and on more than one occasion he had no idea what the answers were. He was sure Amanda could see his awkwardness and was just being patient with him. But he wanted her to see he took this date, this time with her daughter, seriously. This was the person she loved most in the world, and he wanted Amanda to see he could fulfill the role of a father figure, even if it took him a little time. He tried not to focus too long on the fact he’d never had a decent father figure to learn from, himself. 

Adding a little of his favorite cologne (the one Amanda had noticed a couple weeks before and gone nuts over), he took one last glance in the mirror. He looked good. Amanda would like it, he decided, and nodding to himself, he grabbed his wallet and keys before heading out the door.

He stopped at a flower stand half a block from his place and bought a small bouquet of daisies for Jesse and one purple iris for Amanda. Normally he would have gone with a rose, but she’d been quick to thank him specifically for a mixed bouquet he had given her a few weeks prior, specifically mentioning how irises were her favorite. He also picked up a single pink rose for Billie, because he couldn’t find it in his heart to leave the baby out, even if the baby wouldn’t have any idea she’d been excluded.

It was a rainy afternoon, so he wiped his shoes on the mat in front of her door as he knocked. Amanda answered a moment later.

“Hey,” she welcomed him, leaning forward and kissing his cheek. Pulling back, she grinned. “Wow, you smell terrific. I’m a little jealous of Jesse now!”

“Haha,” he returned, blushing but smiling ear to ear. “I have a couple things for you...the iris is yours, and the pink rose is for Billie. Now where’s my little date?”

Amanda took the two flowers into the kitchen. “These are beautiful, Rafael. Thank you so much. Jesse!” she called, “Uncle Rafi is here!”

A moment later he heard little feet running down the hallway, and Jesse appeared in a long-sleeved dress with a longer wide skirt, complete with sparkly gold shoes and a tiara. “I’m here, Waffy-Taffy! I’m weady for the Broadway place!” 

“You certainly are,” he commented, then knelt down. “These are for you, sweet girl,” he said, and handed her the daisies. 

Her little mouth flew open in surprise. “Ohhhh….ohhh….Momma!” she said breathlessly, spinning around to Amanda. “Look what Wafi getted for me! Aren’t they so pwetty? I never getted some flowers before. Only Momma getted them.” She pressed her face close to the bouquet and breathed deep, and Rafael heard Amanda snort. “They smell so beautiful!” she added. “Fank you, Untle Wafi! You are very, very nice to me!”

He grinned at her, internally high-fiving himself. “I’m glad you like them, Jess. Let’s give them to your momma and get ready to go.”

“Here,” Amanda took the flowers, then reached over and plucked the tiara from Jesse’s head. “You don’t need that,” she explained as Jesse scowled at her. “It’s for play at home, and you’re going to be so upset if you lose it.”

“I do too need it! I may be dancing! I need my crown, Momma!” She tried to snatch it back, but Amanda held it out of her reach.

Sensing a potential escalation, Rafael leaned in. “‘Manda...I don’t mind if she has it. Not a big deal at all.”

Now Amanda quirked an eyebrow at him, and for a second he wondered if she had always done that or if she had picked it up from him. “Okay. Just know she is going to cry if she loses it, and it’s very possible she will believe she IS a princess while she has it on.” Seeing him nod anyway, Amanda handed it back to the preschooler, who immediately shoved it crookedly on top of her head. “Jesse, keep it ON your head, understand?” Amanda adjusted Jesse’s dress slightly as the little girl nodded.

“Dat’s MUCH better now,” she said confidently, then spun in her dress twice before stopping in front of Rafael. “I’m weady, Wafi-Taffy! Let’s go to the Broadway!”

“Have fun!” Amanda told him, quickly kissing Jesse and then Rafael. “Good luck!” she whispered in his ear, and then they were on their way to the theater.

***

“Wow, Untle Wafi, dis place is COOL,” Jesse proclaimed as they stepped inside. “It’s so, so BIG!”

As though her words were an automatic reminder, Rafael reached for her little hand. “You’re right, honey, it is very big in here, and there are a LOT of people...so I want you to hold on to my hand and don’t let go, okay?”

“Got it!” Jesse squeezed his hand tightly and followed him through the crowd. 

He had gotten orchestra seats so they could be close enough that Jesse would be able to see well. He guided her in the direction of the entry doors for their section. They were almost to the usher when Jesse tugged his hand.

“Untle Wafi, I gotta go pee!” He turned around to face her in time to see her crossing her legs and beginning to hop up and down.

_ Terrific, _ he thought, glancing around the immediate hallway, looking for a nearby restroom. It took him a minute to notice it, but he finally found a sign labeled ‘Ladies’ Lounge’. “Come on, Jess,” he said, and led her across the busy hallway to the line. 

At least she had realized she had to go before it started, he thought, taking a look at the length of the line. Several of the women in line smiled at him and he smiled back, watching them glance between him and Jesse, who continued to twirl in her dress and softly sing to herself. She was launching into “I Just Can’t Wait to be King”, and he smirked. She WAS pretty cute, if he said so himself. All the women in the line seemed to think so. As their part of the line entered the ladies’ room, he noticed nearly everyone smiling at them. They probably thought it was adorable of him to bring her. It seemed that women loved to see that kind of thing. It was like Callie in his office the other day--same type of thing, thinking he was some rock star for taking his girlfriend’s kid to the theater. He was feeling pretty good about himself when he felt Jesse tug his hand again.

“Untle Wafi, are you gonna go in the stall wif me? Aren’t you not s’posed to? You’re a boy, wight?”

Suddenly realizing the obvious reason the women had been staring, he felt his cheeks turn bright red. “I’m going to wait for you right outside, honey,” he said, loud enough anyone listening would hear him. “If you need me, just call very loudly, okay? I’ll be  _ right here. _ ” And he backed himself into the wall right outside the restroom as Jesse nodded and skipped into a stall.

He couldn’t believe he hadn’t planned for this. Taking a preschool-aged girl to a musical with no way to take her to the bathroom? What would Amanda think, when she found out he sent her by herself? He could only imagine.  _ “That WAS you working with us at SVU, wasn’t it? Were you even paying ATTENTION, Rafael?”  _ He could imagine her yanking the child from his hand and kicking him out of the apartment with instructions to never return. He could suddenly feel his head tighten, the first sign of an impending migraine.  _ Stop being ridiculous,  _ he thought as he shifted foot to foot, anxiously checking his watch. How long did it take little girls to pee, anyway? And would she remember to wash her hands? God, he hoped so. The lights blinked off, giving the five minute curtain call, and he suddenly heard a child shriek, then somebody grabbed him around the knees, nearly knocking him over.

“Jesse!” He caught her and bent down to face her. She was shaking and holding on to his arms.

“Didja see the lights went out? I don’t wike dat, Untle Wafi! It scared me!” 

He could see from her expression that she was genuinely upset, so he scooped her up into his arms. “It’s okay,” he reassured her, “that’s just the way they tell us it’s almost time to start, and we need to get in our seats. So we need to go, okay?”

She still looked a little unsure, but nodded her head, so he ran with it and crossed the hallway to the usher. A minute later they were directed to their seats.

“What’s dis book?” Jesse turned her playbill back and forth. “Is it a story?”

“Not exactly,” he told her. “It tells us a little about the people in the musical.”

“Like Simba and Naala?” she asked. 

“It will tell us about the people who are pretending to be Simba and Naala,” he explained. “Now, I need you to know that they will turn the lights down in a minute, just like they do in the movies, okay? There’s no need to be afraid or to scream. It’s just like the movies.”

“Otay.” She nodded her head. “But it isn’t Simba and Naala for real? Where are they? Why are people gonna pretend to be them, Wafi? Are they gonna come later?”

“No, it’s just---” He was interrupted by a loud tribal call, the start of the musical, and a moment later the most incredible “animals” took the stage. They moved regally, gorgeously; so much that he forgot to even look Jesse’s way for a couple of minutes. When he finally did turn to her, her little hands were covering her ears and she had an expression somewhere between wonder and fear on her face.

She realized he was watching her. “Untle Wafi, tan I sit on your lap?” she asked, and he immediately scooped her up onto his lap, then turned his attention back to the opening number. 

Rafael had seen a lot of Broadway plays and musicals in his day. After he left home, he was determined to become more cultured, and Broadway seemed an obvious way to do that. He had not seen very many productions that seemed geared toward children and families, however, with the exception of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang several years before. An old boyfriend had convinced him to go, saying that the male lead was sexy and reminded him of Rafael. After watching two hours of two kids, a fickle “flying” car, and a guy onstage whose only resemblance to him was his nose, he had sworn off letting his boyfriend pick any more of the shows they saw. But this? This was nothing like Chitty. This was taking his breath away. And as time went on and she grew more comfortable, he was pretty sure it had captured Jesse’s attention too. She hadn’t said any more to him and had instead stayed face forward, closely watching the actors on the stage. She sat perched on his knees, one little hand still wrapped in his as the other absently twisted her hair.

This was special, he thought, watching the hair on her fingers twist and untwist. He heard her little laugh at some funny dialogue, and his chest warmed. He’d always been terrified of kids, that he couldn’t understand them, that he’d ruin things for them. Jesse giggled again, then turned around to look at him, whole face alight, and she looked precious and sweet and so very much like her mother. He grinned back and tickled her lightly, and she laughed more. A moment later, the cast launched into another musical number, and once again the little girl was transfixed on the stage. And he suddenly realized that he was making a memory that not only Jesse would be fond of, but he would as well.

They reached intermission and the curtain closed as the lights came back on. Jesse climbed out of his lap. “Is it over, Untle Wafi? The story isn’t over. Simba’s still got a lot to do as a grown up!”

“No, not yet,” he told her. “This is the middle of the musical. It’s called intermission, and everyone takes a break. Do you need to use the restroom again?”

She shook her head. “No, but I’m firsty. I could go for a spwite, you know. Do they got candy here? Wittle kids wike snacks, too.” She stretched her arms up and yawned. “My belly’s kinda empty.”

He checked his phone and found a text from Amanda asking how it was going, so he texted back quickly,  _ All good so far! _ , then tucked his phone back in his pocket and held out his hand. “Okay, let’s go find a drink.” Taking her by the hand, he led Jesse out of the theater. They wandered around until they found the snack bar and got in line. He wiggled Jesse’s hand to get her attention. “Do you like the play so far?” he asked.

She nodded, then hopped up and down. “I WOVE it! It’s SO good. It’s kinda wike the movie, but not weally ‘cause they don’t wook the same or sound the same. Plus the movie don’t got a spwite break. You seen the movie, Untle Wafi?”

“Um, no, I haven’t,” he admitted. “But I agree with you, the play is really good. I like it, too--”

“Hi, Uncle Rafa!” Noah ran up to him behind Jesse, then hugged him. “Hi Jesse! I was lookin’ for you guys!”

“Hey Noah!” he greeted, surprised, as Jesse hugged Noah tightly.

“We’re seein’ The Lion King! It’s SO good!” Jesse explained. “Waffy-Taffy taked me here to dis Broadway place so I could see it. Where’s Aunt Wivvy?”

That had been Rafael’s question, and it was answered immediately when a tall man in a sports jacket approached quickly. “Noah,” he admonished, “don’t take off without me, buddy...I was about to get worried.”

“Sorry, Peter.” Noah shrugged. “I just wanted to say hi to them.”

Rafael nodded. “Mr. Stone. Didn’t realize Broadway was your thing.” He glanced at Noah. “I guess I also didn’t realize you were still in Manhattan.”

Stone laughed awkwardly. “Just over the weekend. And it’s not, really...Liv had gotten tickets for her and Noah to go, but then she had another commitment, so she asked if I could take him.” A smirk took over his face for a second, as he added, “I think we’ll have a quiet dinner at her place once I bring Noah home.”

Rafael bit his tongue, knowing there was no way in hell Olivia was going to have any kind of romantic dinner with this man. He’d heard a lot about him over the last year, particularly how distasteful she’d found him. “He should’ve taken his shirt of for you,” she teased him one night. “He would’ve had a better chance of scoring.”

Noah interrupted his thoughts. “She had to work,” he said bluntly, and Rafael couldn’t help but smile at the boy. “She said you were going with Jesse.”

Jesse nodded. “It’s my special Broadway day. See my crown? And my sparkly shoes?” Rafael stared at her little tiara as he realized this day  _ was _ special for her. She’d shown him in every way her little four-year old mind would let her. She’d even dressed the part.

“Sir, can I take your order?” Rafael moved up to the counter and ordered two small sprites and a candy bar as Noah and Jesse chattered beside him.

“Here, Jess.” He handed her a sprite as they moved out of the way. “Noah, would you like this one?” he asked, but Noah shook his head. 

“No thanks. We gotta go back to our seats. I hope you guys have fun!”

“Yes,” Stone added, “have fun. It was good to see you.” Rafael watched as the man put his hand on Noah’s shoulder and led the young boy through the crowd.

Rafael opened the candy bar and looked down at Jesse, sipping her drink and people-watching. “Better now?” he asked her, handing her part of the candy, and she smiled and nodded, then the lights blinked again.

“That means we go sit down, wight?” she asked him, reaching for his hand.

He nodded. “You got it. But we can’t take our drinks or candy in, so try to finish what you can quickly and then we’ll go.”

“Got it,” she told him, and they stood side by side for a few more minutes, sipping their sprites and munching on chocolate, until it was time to go back in.

***

“Momma!” Jesse cried when Amanda opened the door, “We’re home!”

Amanda laughed, then hugged her daughter before leaning over and kissing Rafael’s cheek. “How was it?”

“It was SO cool, Momma! It was wike the movie ‘cept the costumes were all different an’ some of the songs were different. And I gotted dis book here--” she waved the Playbill “--and Untle Wafi gotted me a spwite to drink ‘cause I was firsty and some candy too. And den we seed Noah except Wivvy wasn’t there. He was wif dis guy who was tall. And Noah said he wanted to go wif me an’ Wafi but his mom said he had to go wif dat guy...what’s his name, Wafi? I can’t wemember.”

“Stone. Peter Stone,” Rafael answered, confused. “When did Noah say he wanted to go with us?”

“When you was gettin’ spwites. Noah whispered it to me. The man was on his phone.” She shrugged. “Maybe he was playin’ Candy Crush, wike Momma.”

He snickered then, leaning over to Amanda. “She sold you out. Now I know what you’re really doing when my call goes to voicemail.”

“You’re hilarious,” she told him. “Jess, go hang up your coat and wash your hands. You and Rafi can finish telling me all about it at dinner.”

Once Jesse had skipped down the hall, he caught Amanda by the arms. “Hey...you may be angry with me. I kind of messed up...didn’t think everything through well enough...she had to use the bathroom and I had to send her in alone. I waited for her right outside and it was okay, nothing bad happened, but--”

Her face was serious, eyes on his, and he felt a weight in his stomach. “You’re worried about this,” she said softly. “Please tell me it didn’t ruin your afternoon.”

He sighed heavily. “I’m sorry--”

She was shaking her head. “Unfortunately, that’s the way it goes for men who take little girls to events, when there’s not a family bathroom. All you can do is stay very close to the exit and listen if she calls for you.” She hugged him tightly, and he felt himself relax. “You did good, Barba. I can already tell she had fun, and I dare say you did too.”

He helped her finish setting the table. “I just wanted to thank you again, Rafa,” Amanda told him as she put the silverware out. “She was really excited about today. It meant a lot to her, and it meant a lot to me.”

“Did you know she wore that tiara because she thought it was a special day?” he asked. “And the shoes.”

Smiling, Amanda shook her head. “I didn’t. But it doesn't surprise me--I'm pretty sure this is something she's going to remember for a long time.”

“Neither did I.” He sat down. “That means so much to me, you know? That your four-year old thought this was special enough she needed to LOOK special.” The irony that he had felt the same earlier, gone through the same motions, slowly hit him. Maybe he and Jesse were more alike than he had realized.

A second later Jesse bounded into the kitchen and climbed into her chair. “I’m weady! Are we gonna eat?”

“You bet,” Amanda told her, and as he listened to Jesse recount their afternoon, he realized he was already looking forward to doing it again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are so wonderful, and help keep your authors inspired. It's been exciting to see there are a handful of us Barollins fans out there! I've put all of my Barollins stories together in this series, since they are related. Hopefully that makes it easier for locating anything. I'm gonna keep running with this ship for awhile right now, I think, since I've gotten such great feedback.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!


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